Wrath Induced by Duct Tape
by Fire Princess21
Summary: Squalo and Colonello learn what it is like to destroy Bianchi's precious cooking for Reborn. They're in for some major trouble! S66


This was written for Great Question's Questionable Crack pairings.

Pairing: Colonello and Squalo

Prompt: Duct tape

*I may have Bianchi out of character here and a few others and I do apologize for that. I don't really write Bianchi that much but her easily ignited temper (with relation to Reborn and her cooking) will prove to be useful for this one-shot. You'll see!

Disclaimer: I do not own this awesome anime, Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

-How do you make a line breaker?-

Wrath Induced by Duct Tape

By: Fire Princess21

The table trembled slightly enough for Tsuna to pause in his writing and groan in aggravation.

_When will it stop?_ He thought miserably as he tried to shut out the distant screaming voices by covering his ears with his arms.

Another tremble accompanied by echoes rocked the Vongola Mansion on which they currently resided and the sound crashing of glass reverberated throughout the halls.

The door creaked open a bit and Yamamoto's head popped in, smiling sheepishly at him while one hand was at the back of his head.

"Sorry, Tsuna! I couldn't stop them." He apologized.

Tsuna sighed and smiled at him though strain was evident on his face.

"Iie. It's fine, Yamamoto. It's not your fault anyway." He said.

"Yeah, but they're destroying the room right now." Yamamoto explained causing Tsuna to wince.

_Another thing destroyed to pay for this week._ He thought again.

"I should go in there and stop them myself then." Tsuna said as he stood to get up from his leather armchair.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Tsuna." Yamamoto said nervously. "They almost killed me when I did."

"Then who will stop them?" Tsuna asked in aggravation.

Little did he know that the answer he sought was going to materialize soon…

-How do you make a line breaker?-

Bianchi was humming in the kitchen, wearing an apron complete with oven mittens as she took out a rather delicate heart-shaped soufflé that had just baked.

The soufflé itself _would_ have looked normal _if_ it didn't have a strange purple color and _if _small worms weren't visible on the pastry, emanating a scent that looked to be poison potent. But as we all know, Bianchi is renowned for her Poison Cooking skills, thus the inedible soufflé- contrary to her belief.

"Now to wait for five minutes!" she said happily as she set the tray of the soufflé down on a table.

She was planning to surprise Reborn with a surprise dinner date who had been away too much for her to bear and took this opportunity to prepare his favorite- an espresso flavored soufflé. As such, she had been hard on work and even cleared the area ten meters near the kitchen so that no one could upset her cooking. She was on to her next task when a loud explosion occurred that shook the whole mansion as if an earthquake had happened.

Everything within the mansion was shaken, rattled, and turned upside-down.

Including her soufflé.

She rushed to her soufflé to save it but to her horror and anger, the soufflé had deflated.

"My soufflé!" she cried, looking at the deformed pastry with sadness and agony.

Reborn was coming in an hour so there was no way she would be able to make another one. Standing up, an angry light could be visible in her eyes as she knew who to blame for her destroyed work.

She spotted a duct tape conveniently placed on the kitchen counter top and took it upon impulse as she strode towards the source of disturbance.

They were going to pay for ruining her beloved's dinner.

-How do you make a line breaker?-

"Maximum Burst!" Colonello said as he aimed his rifle at Squalo who dodged it, leaving a huge gaping hole on what used to be the wall of the Vongola Mansion.

"Voooiii!" Squalo yelled at him, smirking tauntingly. "Is that the best you got, brat?" He waved his sword at him.

"Don't call me brat, kora!" Colonello yelled back. "I'm older than you, kora!"

"Yeah, brat? Who's the baby with the pacifier around here?"

Clenching his teeth, Colonello fired another blast of his Maximum Burst that Squalo yet again dodged.

By now, the training room supposedly made out of steel had holes in the wall looked as if a rat had bitten through it, including the damaged room next door. Tsuna had to repair the other one and the room they destroyed but seeing as they couldn't make any progress with it- for fear of civilians being involved- and no one wanted to interfere with either two, the damage grew everyday.

And all because Reborn had to set up a new training program for them that included the Varia and the Arcobalenos because 'their skills were falling sadly behind and it would be nice to learn from the strongest'.

Not that they were making any progress.

Nor were they getting along for that matter.

On the contrary, the Vongola Mansion- within the span of that one week- was almost disintegrated to ash if he hadn't relocated the training elsewhere.

Only Colonello and Squalo were stubborn enough not to move, intent on finishing their fight.

It was like hate at first sight.

When Reborn had introduced Yamamoto and Squalo to Colonello- as they were all Rain Guardians-, Squalo's first reaction was the following:

"Voiiiiiii! I'm going to be trained by this brat?"

Colonello, who thought he to be a strong warrior, was affronted by Squalo's comment.

"What's the problem with that, kora?" he asked angrily, "I'm the strongest one here, kora!"

"Voiiii! Want to test that out, baby?"

"Bring it on, kora!"

And the feud started.

Yamamoto was covered in bruises and cuts on that day when he attempted to stop their fight and he learned never to interfere.

As their fight ensued, Bianchi entered the room and eyed the both of them angrily.

"Stop it both of you! You're making this place unliveable!" she screamed at both of them. They paused for a second to eye her angrily.

"Buzz off, trash!" Squalo said.

"Don't bother us, kora!" Colonello added.

Her anger now having reached its boiling point, she threw her poison cooking buns into their open mouths and they fell down in an instant. Then, stretching out the duct tape, she taped them from head to foot, leaving only their eyes and noses uncovered before striding angrily out of the room.

"Now shut up!" she said as she left.

-How do you make a line breaker?-

When the poison cooking effects wore off, they tried to move and cut their way through but it proved to be no easy feat.

Even Squalo's blade couldn't cut through the branded high quality duct tape- courtesy of Giannini.

They blinked at each other and tried to speak.

"Mmmmmppphhh!" Suqalo tried to say.

"Mmmm!" Colonello said.

Looking at each other helplessly, they decided to wait for someone to help them.

Tsuna then entered the room to see what was going on but stopped when he saw the pair.

Bianchi had done a fine job of covering them in duct tape that looked as they were mummified so at first glance, that was what _anyone_ would think.

And anyone who was consequently Sawada Tsunayoshi would do the following:

He stopped and stared at the duo that, upon his entry, looked up at him.

"MMmmmppphhh!" Squalo said again in a vain attempt to speak.

"Mmmmnnnn!" Colonello's plea was muffled.

Having mistaken them for mummies that had risen from the dead covered in shiny silver linen making their way to the Vongola Mansion to eat his brain, he rushed out of the room screaming,

"Hiiiiieeee! The Vongola is under attack by mummies. HELPPPP!"

He thus left Colonello and Squalo to their fate.

-How do you make a line breaker?-

I apologize for the mistakes up there but it is my exam week and I am currently focusing myself to get to honor rolls but am not doing that well.

Stupid sleep deprivation caused by homework.

Anyway, I know that shouldn't be a reason but I haven't written any crack fics before and every failure has an alibi. That is mine. Still, I hope you liked it.

Please leave a review and thank you very much for reading!


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